Detriment of raising spoilt children, they could become killers - Joy Isi Bewaji

On Crime and Investigation last week...


A couple with three children lived a good life. They were the parents every child could wish for.


They spoilt their children. Flew them first class. Denied them very little or nothing.


The third child, a girl, was intoxicated by her parent's kindness. She asked for everything, and everything she got.


After attending very good and expensive schools, flying all over the world, going diamond shopping with her mum, spoilt with exquisite taste... she couldn't comprehend the word, "No"... because she didn't hear it enough whilst growing up.

At 23, she got married. Used to her parents constant pampering, she started many businesses that failed and required daddy's money to bail her out. Her parents bailed her out many times, even her husband needed bailing out as he too had been brainwashed by his wife to believe his in-laws will always help out.


When she clocked 26, she had failed yet again in another business. Money down the drain. Husband was struggling to keep his own ideas afloat.


She approached her father for another loan. These loans that were never paid back. The father, at this time, had stopped working. He was preserving his money for old age with his wife. So for the first time in his life, he turned down his daughter's request.


"No dear, I can't give you any money, I'm sorry."


"But... what do you need money for? You're old," she barked.


"Your mother and I want to travel a bit. We've worked hard all these years."


"But... what about me?" She cried.


A 26 year old fool, destroyed by the love of her parents... because they gave her everything she wanted.


She became bitter. And plotted to kill them.


One night she visited their home, took her father's rifle. And shot them while they slept.


All for Insurance benefits.


True story. Too many of them on C&I.
*
The idea is not to deprive our children. The idea is to make "NO" a convenient word in our homes.


I give my kids everything they ask. If they don't have it, then they haven't asked yet. And I see how damaging that can be. It's not easy to say "No", but I love it when I am able to say it. I feel empowered, as a loving and giving parent, when I say No.


My kids have learnt that I owe them many things, but luxury is negotiable.


Privilege is a terrible thing if not well managed. An entitled child is a monster in the making.


My kids enjoy things that would take a holiday for many children to experience. That makes me uncomfortable.


I don't want entitled kids who believe I owe them anything beyond basic needs and total affection. And I hate comparing my skills with other parents.


I don't care if your kid has a phone, my kid isn't going to get one until I understand why she needs it. If she wants to learn how to code, that's a different experience from owning a smart phone. I will enrol her for coding. That's not luxury, that's a necessary skill in an evolving world.


I totally respect parents who are rich yet insist their kids should live ordinary lives. It allows the kids to aspire towards daddy/mummy's level. But if you give them all that you, as a parent, took 25 years to get or build, then what would they aspire to?


If you buy them the lamborghini now at 21... that took you 50 years to own... how can they beat that feat?


They should see you drive it without them having any access to it. Let them feel the metal and dream of the day they can be as successful as mum to get one.


If they fly first class at 18...what is there to aspire to as 35?


Privileged kids don't do phenomenal things because all their dreams come true as mere kids.


Many great people who live greatly grew up with basic needs but with imagination bright enough to light the world. It is the hunger in us that drives us to excel, not our satisfaction.


Hopefully we don't raise kids who see us as ATM machines, and are willing to destroy us to get to our money.