Is Christianity the default religion, what If I worship my toe? Groom the courtesy to find out - Joy Isi Bewaji

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At my first “close meeting” with my neighbours – all eight flats that occupy a building, the neighbour whose ceiling is my floor talked about cleanliness with regard to the surroundings. Bushes were springing from the lone space beside the building. And his best approach to getting us to do something about it was to remind us that…

“Cleanliness is godliness.”

I rolled my eyes.

Nobody cleans their environment because of God. At least, try to be original. I wonder the kind of conversations people hold with their spouses and children when they sound so thick in public. You can’t gather a group of adults and insist on cleanliness based on piety or their understanding of a spiritual Being.

Nobody picks up an empty wrapper of biscuit because they believe God will be happy. It’s a rash to live with dirt, we clean up for our own pleasure. I don’t get my car washed because I am “godly”. I do it strictly for narcissistic delight. I want to see that silver sparkle. But Nigerians do not ever admit that they do anything for intrinsic pleasure; it is arrogant declaration, so just pretend you are doing it for climate change – anything, except for your own enjoyment. (PS: Many a-woman is still in abusive marriages because of their children… not because they like preek. Of course.)

Then the neighbour added, “at least we are all born again Christians.”

But… how could he be so sure? I just moved in, we’ve never exchanged a word. Is Christianity a default religion for every Lagosian? What if I worship my toe? Groom the courtesy to find out.

Only yesterday, he was at my gate to announce a leak probably from one of my pipes. Invited me to his matrimony home (with wifey on the phone and children playing) to see the damage (as water from one of my bathrooms must have destroyed a bulb). I assure him a plumber will come in to check it out.

As I make my way out his gate, he quickly remembered to make a statement that had nothing to do with leaking pipes: “I have not seen your husband.”

“I am here with my children; any part accrued to my apartment or any responsibility expected of an adult from the space I occupy will be taken care of by me, effortlessly,” I said.

He nodded.

I went back to my home to eat jollof rice and fish...and watch some ratchet shows on MTV.



Joy Isi Bewaji is the Managing Direrctor of Happenings Radio and Magazine and also the Creator of The Magazine Club