If you are married and your wife lives abroad and you haven't seen in months, my brother, you are dating - Olakunle Allison

I remember the first time a good friend and member of the Christ Embassy Church told me that Pastor Chris and his wife Anita hardly lived together.


He said that ministry work doesn't really permit much of cohabitation. Pastor Chris pastors the Nigerian Church while his wife Pastor Anita (who had their daughters) pastored the London branch.


He said they could both live apart for months without seeing each other eye to eye. My friend didn't seem to think anything was wrong with the whole arrangement. He was telling me as if it was cool. After all, they were doing ministry; God's work.
My focus was not on their Ministry but their Marriage. At that time I feared for their marriage!


I expressed my fears for their marriage and also my reservations for their lack of cohabitation but my friend apparently thought I was being too dramatic. Even then I knew something was just off about married couples living apart in the name of work or ministry.


One of the deceptions of modern living is that we can have our cake and eat it. That somehow physical intimacy and actual cohabitation are no longer pivotal to marriage. You can Skype or Chat up your partner online and that's it! You can do Video Calls and that's OK.


No! These are lies. And we know it deep down. Nothing, absolutely nothing can replace the energy and chemistry that come with physical presence. And nothing can reveal the mess- which we often try to conceal- that come with physical presence. Not Skype. Not Video Chats. Nothing. Man has never invented such and will never.


Husbands and wives should live together under the same roof. If they must end cohabitation for whatever reason, it shouldn't be protracted. Living apart from your partner for one month or two is a recipe for future heartaches. Don't forget that Eve was approached by the Serpent when she was alone. By the time Adam joined the conversation, it was too late.


Being together with your partner in marriage under one roof and staying together is sacrosanct. It fosters and feeds intimacy on so many levels. In fact, even our Marriage Law recognizes this truth. Did you know that lack of cohabitation for 2-3 years is a crucial ground for divorce in Nigeria?


Let's keep lying to ourselves that living apart for too long doesn't hurt marriage, but the stats will continue to prove us wrong.


#truthissacred.
Selah.