You are not a bad parent if you can afford first class for your 19 year old child but refuse to spend money that way, do not feel guilty if the child flies economy, people who fly economy don't have goats on their laps. - Joy Isi Bewaji

And before we go to bed, let us remember:


You are not a bad parent if you refuse to give your 20 year old son the keys to your SUV. It is your prerogative to share your car or not. Maybe you want him to drive the Yaris and he is embarrassed by that because all his friends drive their father's Land Rover. That's up to him to work on his self confidence. And it's up to you to teach him how NOT to be defined by material things.


You are not a bad parent if you can afford first class for your 19 year old child but refuse to spend money that way. Do not feel guilty if the child flies Economy. People who fly economy don't have goats on their laps. You have a right to deny your child that luxury, while you go on with your 53 year old bad self and enjoy first class. You deserve it. You've worked hard for it. Don't feel bad. Your child can make that his own reality when he starts making money. The earlier the better; no squatting in daddy's house at 32.


You are not a bad parent if your 11 year old doesn't use a smart phone. These kids have access to social media. Social media does not empower children. I feel uncomfortable when I meet kids who know Linda Ikeji's blog OR read my wall. There are kids who have told my children that they follow me on Facebook. What are you following me for? Where are your damn parents? 90% of the time smart phones do not make smart children. It's a distraction and an addiction they can do without. If it is to access Google for homework, then let them have a spare phone at home for that, blocking off major social media apps.


What could make you a bad parent are:


Compromising your child's education.


I had a friend who took her kids to schools beneath a certain intellectual capacity because she needed to buy another SUV. That's crazy. You know this school doesn't deliver on quality education but you need to show off so badly, you keep them there... and even try to sell that lifestyle to me. I stopped hanging out with her.


When you deny your children access to the knowledge you have and the warmth and love and affection you can give, that's bad.


Give them the best environment to grow. Give them the best home you can afford.


Give them the best push and support to uplift their spirits. Not with material largesse, but with dreams of the future they could have if they aspire to greatness.


Let everything be a story you can share with them.
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Nonetheless, if you wish to give them all the luxury that is stated here, then do it without making it a rule for other parents.


Luxury is an option. Love is free. And most times, kids aren't grateful for that which cost a lot. They just want to be sure you stand as their biggest fan.


The best my mother ever did for me was not rubbing my divorce in my face.


She bought me a car, yes. But that doesn't come close to standing with me when I was vulnerable and in need of emotional support.


I will never forget that.


I may replace the car she bought, but I can never forget how she contributed in making me whole again.


Priorities.